I took the funeral services of both my grandparents and parents. My colleagues tell me you are not meant to do that – and I know why that’s the received wisdom!
It did feel lonely meeting their coffins at the entrance to the crematorium chapel but (I wonder if you can understand this) it was the last thing I could do for them as a son or grandson. I know clergy colleagues would have led wonderful services for my folk, but the truth was, on the day, I wanted to ‘look after them’. And all four services were fine and I’m unrepentantly glad I did it!
As I’ve heard the sad news this week of two church families at AFC going through personal loss I’ve been reflecting on those four funerals of my grandparents and parents and all that has followed.
I’ve known for some time that actually good things have happened to my family since their passing. These four people occupied such a central place amongst us that, whilst they were alive, we simply couldn’t imagine the wider ‘Green Clan’ without them. Yet, since their deaths my brothers and I have grown closer, and wider family gatherings still ring with laughter and companionship.
We have not forgotten them. Indeed, we speak with much loving affection about them often. Yet we have now grown together in different ways, and in doing so, I believe, we honour their memory and the wonderful foundations they laid for us.
The journey of love never ends.
The various phases of grief takes us on many twists and turns and no one follows exactly the same path. Life without the people we have lost is different but, pray God, it still holds the potential to be good.
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